72 yr old mom is now divorced, has been in chemo for years and IMO. I see her make bad decisions. She drives me crazy, do I need to let go?

At 72, my mom is navigating life after divorce and enduring long-term chemotherapy. Despite her struggles, I witness her making choices that concern me. It's exhausting and frustrating, leaving me to question whether I should distance myself for my own well-being, or continue to support her through this challenging time.

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72 yr old mom is now divorced, has been in chemo for years and IMO. I see her make bad decisions. She drives me crazy, do I need to let go?

Navigating the complexities of relationships with aging parents can be challenging, particularly when a "72-year-old mom" is facing significant life changes such as "divorce" and enduring long-term "chemotherapy". As her child, witnessing her make what you perceive as "bad decisions" can be frustrating, leading you to question whether you should "let go" of some of your concerns.

When a parent is dealing with health issues and major life transitions, it is essential to approach the situation with empathy and understanding. Your mother’s "divorce" may have left her feeling vulnerable and seeking new ways to regain control over her life. The impacts of "long-term chemotherapy" can also affect her mental state, leading to decisions that may seem irrational or troubling to you.

Before coming to any conclusions about whether you need to let go, consider the following factors:

1. "Understanding Her Perspective": Your mother’s experience with cancer, treatment, and her recent divorce can significantly alter her mindset. It’s crucial to try to see things from her perspective. Engaging in open and honest conversations about her feelings may provide insights into her decision-making process.

2. "Evaluating Your Concerns": Reflect on the specific decisions that concern you. Are they harmful or simply different from what you would choose? Distinguishing between genuinely concerning actions and those that simply clash with your views can help you understand how to approach your mother’s choices.

3. "Setting Boundaries": It’s important to establish healthy boundaries. If her decisions are affecting your well-being, it may be necessary to communicate your feelings. Let her know the impact her actions have on you without being confrontational.

4. "Encouraging Support": If your mother is making decisions that could jeopardize her safety or well-being, it may be time to gently suggest seeking support from friends, family, or professionals. Sometimes, having an outside perspective can help her see things more clearly.

5. "Choosing Your Battles": Not every decision warrants your intervention. Learning to let go of minor issues can reduce your stress and allow you to focus on the more significant aspects of your relationship with her.

6. "Focusing on Self-Care": Caring for an aging parent can be emotionally taxing. Ensure you are taking care of your own mental health and well-being. Engaging in self-care activities can help you maintain the strength to support your mother more effectively.

Ultimately, the decision to step back or remain involved in your mother’s life decisions should come from a place of love and concern. While it is natural to want to protect her, it is also essential to respect her autonomy as an adult. By approaching the situation with compassion and understanding, you can find a balance that honors both your feelings and her choices.

In conclusion, navigating the complexities of a "divorced" mother undergoing "chemotherapy" is challenging. Rather than feeling overwhelmed, focus on building a supportive environment that fosters open communication. By understanding her perspective and practicing self-care, you can better determine the role you wish to play in her life.

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